stoplights.

my heart gets lighter
when you smile at me

and the city skyline glows a bit brighter
when our voices blare out onto the highway

and you squeeze my hand a little tighter
when i turn and look over at you

and everything else feels right 
when you step on the brakes 
just before a stoplight.


(RL)

when.

when was it?

the first time i told my mom i was too mature to play with dolls

and stopped playing barbies with my sister?

when was it?

the first time my friends and i stopped playing hopscotch

and began sitting around talking about boys at lunch?

when was it?

the first time my friends excluded me for not looking "cool enough,"

and i started caring about the way i looked?

when was it?

the first time my mom asked me to play with my brother

and i didn't remember how?

when was it?

the last time i left a part of my childhood behind me

without even realizing it?

when did i start growing up so fast
and when will it stop?


(RL)

a little bird.

i was a little bird
who flapped my wings
and yearned to fly

i was a little bird
who was afraid of falling
and afraid to die


little birds are meant to fly
so why can i not?
no matter how much time passes
no matter how many days go by
everyone else is soaring
so why can't i?


i am a little bird
who cut off my wings
and is afraid to fly

i am a little bird
who can't stop falling
and yearns to die


(RL)

Day 56 - 66

HAH. I FINISH THIS DIARY THING. I DID IT. I SUCCESSFULLY MADE ONE ENTRY FOR EVERY DAY (kinda... but compiled them when necessary) Honestly I was planning on documenting the whole week but didn't feel like documenting my trip so I procrastinated and here we are haha!! But hey, I did end up finishing this project IN YOUR FACES THOSE WHO DOUBTED ME (if there are any that is LOL i bet most of y'all who reads my posts don't even care)

Soo this past week has been pretty mundane... normal things happened... played TL in the mornings.. ALSO I made Kisumi my new husbands (by giving Sousuke plastic surgery & a name change) cuz Rin dating my son still bothers me so I changed my son to Sousuke which is also pretty weird cuz if you think about it... he's still biologically my son... who is now my ex husband.. who is dating my friend.. who was once dating his current partner's son.. who is now nonexistent?? yeah its pretty messed up but WHATEVER. I can go on with shipping them now like this. I ship Kisumi with myself heheheh. This is also weird since Kisumi & Sousuke are childhood friends but now one of them is the other's son.... oh welllls.

There was also this one shopping/grocery trip where I once again dressed like a hobo but bumped into some guy that goes to my school who I once though was hella fine but then I caught him staring at me weirdly (was it b/c I looked like a hobo or b/c he recognized me?? WHO KNOWS.) and then I started staring at him weirdly & then my mom went to the same aisle he was in & he walked away. Then he went to where I was & I walked away & it was just this weird ass cycle of walking away and awkward eye contact??? i dont even know.

Friends came over to watch the new ep of Free!ES after not coming for one week b/c I was on vacation but yeah it was like always. Ate a crapload of chips from TNT (I still like the okonomiyaki flavoured one & the garlic bread LIKE WOw how do people make these??/ I also wonder if they have takoyaki & curry flavour or something. OMG omg but burger flavoured chips how awesome would that be. POUTINE CHIPS oh my god... ONION ring chips??? LASAGNA FLAVOUR CHIPS. TACO CHIPS??? susHI CHIPS FFFF TEMPURA chips omfgg im like food horny rn wtf. Somebody seriously needs to invent these like wow take all my money. I'd do it myself but I have no idea where to start even.
OK. Back to EP9 of free. IT WAS SO SAD. They added some fanservicey shower scenes & a whole bunch of Momo scenes to ease the pain but it was no good. The ending ruined me. (I still can't get over that elevator scene though I've seen so many parodies already. It's amazing.) I'm fine with Haru cuz I know his problem will ease up soon but WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN TO SOUSUKE THOUGH?? His shoulder's not going to magically heal?? He's either going to have to be substituted by someone or the team forfeits completely before, OR he swims the relay & right smack in the middle of it he stops in utter agony & his team has to find out the hard way. Honestly I feel so bad for him (I know he's fictional, but I STILL FEEL BAD OK DON'T JUDGE ME.) b/c he came back to swim with Rin & he never even got to swim with Rin NOT EVER wtf this is so freaking tragic. Anyways.. one of my friends decided to do the ALS ice bucket in my backyard & brought a bucket & ice to do it with LOL. I ofc got to pour the water over her hehehe I'm seriously so mean..
Afterwards we watched Tokyo Ghoul & one of my friends was sobbing at the end like that ep was THAT sad. I couldn't even cry if I tried though.. I even read this post about how tears can cure acne & blemishes & I was like HA that'd be nice.. if I could cry..  It's pretty sad actually... I've hardened... (thats what she said). I can't even cry wtf is this. Maybe my acne will get so bad that it'll actually make me cry LOL (I seriously hope not)
Started to watch a show called the Irregular at Magic High or something with my friends & the main guy is hot but the INCESTY vibes oh god.. I can't... Watched 3 eps & I have no idea what's going on.

Also, I might be moving rooms soon. Apparently I'm gonna be sleeping downstairs (yep... downstairs... ._.") b/c my dad's like "that way we only have to move one bed" LIke wow... sleeping downstairs. DOWNSTAIRS. While everyone else is sleeping upstairs. Okay. You make sure to tell the cops that if you find me dead in my bedroom..
I've also considered moving out of my house altogether & moving into my grandparents' since their entire lower floor is VACANT. Hell yeah. Nobody even goes down there. Own room, own kitchen, own office???? Yes please. I'll probably just stay at home for the first year since I'm transitioning & it's a big step in life & too many changes will probably bring me to the brink of insanity so yeahh... maybe move out next year if I'm ready. All I know is I'll need a spinning cushy chair for my new room & possibly some new Ikea furniture.

I'll post my Vacation log once I finish writing it (I can't be bothered rn so sorry if this confuses y'all) It's taking a while actually.. so many little details I need to add... ughhghgh..
Also this blog's gotten a lot of views lately.. like, who even reads this stuff??? Wow there are people who care enough to read my stupid rambles & boring life events?? It honestly amazes me

49 50 & 51

Yeppp looks like I'm doing it in 3's now. I can't quite recall what happened 2 days ago though, but I'm pretty sure I did nothing important except play TL, tumblr & draw a little.

As for yesterday I actually left the house & even though I only planned to be out for a few hours I ended up staying out for almost half a day..
Went to my friend's barbecue which she hosted at her house & brought soymilk and popcorn lol. We ended up eating all the salad & healthy stuff so by the time we actually barbecued I was 80% full of food already.. She made a really good cheese & crab dip which I'm pretty sure I ate most of & I also drank a whole lot of the strawberry lemonade punch/carbonated thingy.. Afterwards when we finally went out to barbecue some bees kept flying around near us & the food (my other friend was literally smacking them away with paper plates LOL it was so funny) the meat was reeeaallyy good. If I hadn't eaten all that before I probably would have scarfed down half of everything ahaha. Helped my friend skewer some meat, ate more, had a homemade japadog, climbed onto her top bunk in her room (like 4 other ppl joined in too & i was freaking out b/c I thought the bed would break..) Yeah so basically once we stuffed ourselves full of meat we played charades from the app on my friend's phone nonstop for like 2 hours. I didn't really participate much in helping them guess but I rocked the pokemon category tho ;D (thank god they didn't include 5th gen tho I barely know the names of any of those...) Afterwards, 2 of them left to go to work & the rest of us watched the new episode of Tokyo Ghoul that aired the day before (which I already watched obvs) & then another left & we ended up watching The Girl That Leapt Through Time (dubbed) on my friend's 12" laptop. All 5 of us. And also the sound was barely audible. It got really stuffy after a while since we were holed up in my friend's room & she got really emotionally invested in the movie like wow. Even once it ended she was like "NO. I NEED TO KNOW IF THEY FIND EACH OTHER AGAIN WHAT IF THEY DON'T FIND EACH OTHER AGAIN???" & yeah it was pretty funny. It was like 8pm once we finished & me & another friend decided to bus home (whilst eating leftover cold chicken kabobs) & people on the bus were staring at us LOL. Walked the rest of the way home & the streets looked pretty shady. Watched the new ep of Barakamon & that's about it.

Today was as uneventful as 2 days ago, except I played Tamagotchi on the Wii with my younger sibs. (I seriously missed that game & I have a strong urge to play 10 rounds holy shit that game used to be mah lifeeee) Ate bacon lettuce wraps for lunch & went on my laptop some more. Got a new TV & hopefully it won't glitch out anymore. Drew some stuff on my tablet & called it a night. Yup. Tomorrow will probably be the same.

Day 46 47 & 48

Guess I'm doing the journals in 3's now huh.. welp stuff actually happened for the past few days so this might get looonng depending on how much i remember lol.
Soooo 2 days ago i went out with my friends to this dessert/food place downtown where we saw these GIANT shaved ice thingies a while back & couldn't go then b/c the place was closed. Was kinda late yet again b/c the bus drove right past me when I was waiting by the bus stop (really now. really bus) and met up with my friends like 20 min later... sorry guys again....= =" There were dead wasps all over the area where I sat & it was mildly disturbing.. Skytrained and waited for yet another bus before finally getting to the restaurant. There was a lot of korean music playing & kpop mv's playing on a tv. A bunch of korean dudes sat behind us too (so much korean). Ordered a curry pork cutlet meal which i shared with a friend (had rice, pickled radish & salad/potato sides) and a jumbo size green tea shaved ice which we shared b/w 4 people (yes it was that big) The green tea ice cream was really rich & the shaved ice was topped w/ corn flakes & red bean. Got brain freeze multiple times and my mouth was practically frozen.. but it was really good overall. I would go back probably. Stole some strawberry candies from the plate near the cash register hehe. Went to Safeway b/c one of my friends wanted to look at ingredients for her upcoming bbq party & yeah. Explored the place, hit my friends with a sausage, cool stuff. Went to metrotown after that since there was really nothing else to do & shopped at Superstore. Went around sitting near the cold vegetable sections & such (where people do not normally sit) with my other friend b/c we were tired while other customers walked by and gave us weird looks (good times, good times) didn't buy anything & went to T&T to buy food & such for the anime marathon the next day. Walked around trying to get free samples & hoarding bags of chips in my arms.. walked around for a while like that & didn't even bother getting a cart LOL. Friend bought me a crapload of chips to bring home for Wed. and we headed for the bus. Bought a matcha frappuccino from Blenz on the way b/c apparently it's better & cheaper than Starbucks' and it really was actually (a lot smoother & the matcha's a bit stronger, which I like) Well, guess who's not buying their fraps at sudohbucks anymore. Bused home and feet were hurting like hell (remind me never to wear my heels out downtown ever again please)

Next day = Wednesday = Water day = NEW FREE ES EP!! I get way too excited over these swimming homos seriously.. Woke up early to watch (kinda but ended up waking up at 10 30 ish so not really i suppose?) Much SouRin angst. much iwatobi angst. Much Makoharu angst. It was very exciting & for some reason felt longer than the usual episodes (maybe cuz so much stuff happened in one episode?) I completely lost it at the end with the ep 8 pv. KISS ME kiss me KISS ME kiss me, LIKE seriously guys get a room (that kiss me rally also happened right during the Makoharu scene where it shows them staring at each other like wow KyoAni.. queerbaiting much... not that I dislike it though. Friends came over at 2. One of my friends brought milk tea slush which she was supposed to blend at my house with her magic bullet (the lid which she forgot at home lol) and she ended up using my blender. Apparently I've been using it wrong to crush ice all this time... huh... Watched the free ep along with Tokyo Ghoul & GSNK & Barakamon... really wanted to show them Zankyou no Terror but then also didn't really want them to think I'm a psychopath hahah... They ended up staying for dinner & I made pizza & mom ordered sushi (yay no cooking for me) while my friend showed us another summer anime.. Akame ga Kill? that she liked. It turned out pretty twisted w/ decapitation & amputations of limbs but that was pretty cool (kinda brutal though). The main character's very typical though (turns OP after like 1 day, hot headed, boob obsession?) & there was too much boobie & cleavage for my tastes (sorry) the boobs are very big in that anime... many boob..
Friends left at about 9 ish before it got dark & I resumed my usual nightly routine which consists of food & tumblr. Yeah, normal stuff. Also killed a moth on my computer.

Today we went to my grandma's house as usual. Cousins were there again, didn't talk to them much. I think I'm becoming too antisocial now... I literally packed all of my electronic devices with their chargers (even my laptop this time) even though I didn't use most of them. Watched the new eps of Tokyo Ghoul & ZnT, at macaroni for lunch, and resumed tumblring and looking for new songs. Seriously though I'm super fickle when it comes to favourites.. I get bored with my songs really quickly.. same with other things.. but yeah..  basically that was my day. Also ate cakes & chicken buns. Went home & tumblred again. Pretty mundane day. Probably will be mundane tomorrow as well. We'll see.

Day 43, 44 & 45

Yeahhhh for the last 3 days I have done absolutely nothing except draw & play video games and go on tumblr...
Day before yesterday I was playing TL & Gou & Seijuuro FINALLY got together like omgggg finally... I thought they'd be one of the first to start dating actually but nooo. She basically asked him out the way Rin asked out my son (still not over that fact yet btw). Watched my bro play some game on his xbox (Max the something?? idk) & there was this ginger kid with a magic pen that could draw things on the screen and create bridges & stuff it was pretty cool. It got even better when the pen started waterbending like whoa son. Pretty cool for a free game; didn't get to see it start firebending tho.. Had french toast for lunch. Yeah. Drew some makoharu & stuff. That's about it.

Yesterday was pretty mundane as well.  Played more TL & another couple got together (wow). Gou set them up (LOL guess she didn't want her friend missing out on the action) & 2 of my OCs got together (yesss ive been waiting for this day) Now the only ones still single (that need to get together ofc) are Nitori & Momo & 2 of my other OCs (the MakoHaru lovechild & her s/o) yes Makoharu's lovechild is a thing that I created.. her name's Mizu (LOL) for short & I even made up a tragic backstory for her where Mako drowns at sea & she developed a phobia of water and a hatred of fish (sorry Haru I couldn't help myself..) Pretty much did nothing for the rest of the day; drew some more at night but that's about it.

Today I actually went out in the afternoon to help my mom buy groceries. Pushed the cart around as usual & we saw a caterpillar on the yellow zucchini bin!! It looked so helpless & I wanted to take him home but yeah that plan failed... tried to stick him in a grocery bag but then my mom said no so I dumped him back onto the zucchini... Was totally motivated to make jello/cinnamon rolls that we had bought earlier but somehow that motivation disappeared (im not even surprised at myself anymore... I was also supposed to call and schedule my driving lessons for next next week but I guess I'll have to put that off too now)
Apparently the hotel we'll be staying at in Victoria will have a spa/sauna/POOL (ohgod i think I'm turning into Haru now) I really wanna swim for some reason & learn butterfly/breaststroke.

Welp hope tomorrow will be a lil more exciting than the past few days.

Day 41 & 42

Soooo yesterday I went out again.. parents went to the mall & dumped us at my granny's house. I didn't mind it though b/c of the food & unlimited free time heheheheh. As soon as I got there I started feeling tired again & took a nap in the back room LOL =.=" Then I woke up & played some TL (still can't believe Rin is dating my son... literally every time I check up on them they're always giving off hearts..) It actually takes a looong time to go through and feed and pet everyone.. not to mention when they ask you to play a game with them out of the blue (ugh i hate it.. most of the time I don't even win..) takes like 1h usually... sigh...
Then we had lunch (fried dumplings which I ate with cho again) and I went back to using my tablet to go on tumblr/watch anime. Started watching Zankyou no Terror (b/c of tumblr) since so many people were gushing about the animation and the soundtrack. I read the summary but then was really surprised when I actually began watching. Like?? I didn't know the KIDS were the terrorists??? like why????? and how.... Anyways, the animation is really nice & the music's good. Nine's pretty hot too hehe ;) For some reason Twelve's face kinda creeps me out though. I pretty much marathoned the anime till the most recent episode & I found out that the kids AREN'T actually that evil (since they saved the people from their own bomb & don't actually intend on harming anyone) But then I'm also still a little confused.. like, what is their objective?? Take down the government?? Dismantle the patriarchy?? Idek, maybe they're just trolls??? Hopefully I'll find out in the upcoming episodes... (btw the girl Lisa was ok at the beginning but then she got annoying when she tried to cook & started messing with their stuff like why.. I liked you....) Anyways, after that I doodled some Free and Kill la Kill which my sister tried to vandalize which ended up in us swinging chairs at each other. Yeeep fun times. After that my dad took us home lol & I spent the rest of the night doing virtually nothing again!! Yay.

Today I pretty much did nothing productive again... I woke up & played some TL, went on computer, ate instant noodles for lunch, more computer, finished my Haikyuu drawing & posted to my art blog, more computer, cooked dinner, doodled some makoharu and yeah we have now reached the present. Hopefully tomorrow I'll go out or do something productive but idk. Hope I get to leave for the mini vacation soon too.. Right now all I can do is put off my driving lessons & wait for my anime to air.. ;_;

Day 38, 39 & 40

Turning back into my old lazy self again these past few days I guess? Ah well... I guess it can't be helped....

Day before yesterday I did pretty much nothing.. stayed home again, watched a new anime though!! Barakamon's been showing up on my dash more & more these days so I caved in haha (idk man but imo it sounds like Barack Obama and Pokemon mashed into an anime..) It's really cute (basically everyone is pretty annoying though.. but i guess it adds to their character.. seems like the only non-annoying one is Hiro & he's fcking ripped too holy hell) The main character's an asshole but there's probably gonna be some major character development later on (reminds me of touching spirit bear lol the situation & characters & everything basically) I'm sorry but my fujoshi heart has begun shipping Sensei & Hiro. I have turned into Tama-chan. Tama-chan has turned into me. I am sorry. (not really)

Yesterday I actually left the house!!! Went to the beach with the fam to fly kites & whatnot. Walked around on the sand near the water (which was dirty af like why) & the sand kept getting under my feet & it felt really gritty.. wanted to take off my shoes but then I might step on a needle or something so yeah... My feet kept sinking into the sand & the only thing that kept me from sinking was stepping on seaweed patches.. so I basically was playing hopscotch with seaweed as I crossed the beach LOL I am a child. I got tired and came back and lay on some towels on the sand (there was a bunch of cigs and garbage where we sat ew) I pulled an Ama-chan sensei and shielded myself with a black umbrella while listening to music. The later I didn't even care anymore and blasted my music out loud pfft people around us were staring & stuff.. 

Then we got bored of the beach & went to get McDonalds (heck yea) and actually ate inside the restaurant near UBC some dude had a laptop and was staying there to leech off free refills and wifi and this other lady doing nothing just sitting there and wouldn't move who took up all the space... Ate 1 1/2 of fish fillet & had strawberry coke (tasted pretty good actually). Afterwards we walked around the area and then to the UBC bookstore where I searched for hoodies & mom bought some pens. Went home & showered. My legs seemed fine since I had put on sunscreen before but later it started turning REALLY RED and apparently I was burned?? but only certain parts of my leg??? even though all of my legs were exposed???? I also have this really embarrassing shorts tan line on my upper thighs =.=" My legs are still really red...

Today my friends came over to watch anime!! Ep. 6 of FreeES was not too heartbreaking but a bit sad though... I kinda saw it coming though.. what Makoto requested from Haru & the kid flashback hurt me deep. THE DOLPHIN. IT WAS SYMBOLISM ALL THIS TIME ;_; AND WE DIDN'T EVEN KNOW IT. I was planning to show them more Barakamon & catch up with Tokyo Ghoul & GSNK but then they all wanted to check out the snk dub so then we ended up introducing 2 of our friends to that & ofc they got HOOKED so we had to continue watching & soon enough 6 hours had gone by.. without any of the above plans carried out... sigh.... Ah well.. at least I'm used to the english snk voice actors by now.. My favs are Mikasa, Reiner, Sasha & Ymir (really spot on for them im impressed.) Then they left & my fam went out to Walmart after dinner b/c they had a sale.  Was super tired & walked around half dead, but at least we went to McDonalds for ice cream after.. It all evens out I suppose! 

Anyways.. my hands are getting tired, so i'll stop here.. Peace....

Day 36 & 37

Didn't do much today or yesterday b/c of the scorching temperatures outside (holyyyyy it was like 35+ C for the past 2 days) Stayed inside where there's aircon & fans lol i'm very heat intolerant sadly... Yesterday I helped my sis & dad make pancakes for lunch; dad made the batter, my sis mixed & I fried it. But then dad messed up by not even using any measuring cups & going with "instinct" (reminds me of sokka's instincts in ATLA =.=") and ended up messing up the batter... he added like 4 eggs when people normally only use one... I was literally cringing as he poured the flour directly from the bag into the bowl... ;_; RIP pancakes... but they were kinda good i guess.. a little too eggy but nothing too bad..
Went on my comp for the rest of the day (again, I have no life) and yeah.

Today was slightly more exciting because we actually left the house despite the 37 degree temp outside (how does one stand this heat without aircon though I'm dying to know) to visit my grandma's house for family dinner. It was nighttime though so when we went it wasn't as hot as in the morning (thank god..) Ate sushi & other random stuff it was gooddd~ After dinner we watched Rio2 and I played TL a bit. Kuro (MY SON) started dating Rin LOL it was kind of a wild ride actually.. Rin was all "I think he likes me" & then I was like "go for it" b/c I honestly don't care anymore he wouldn't get with the other guy I was trying to set him up with & I ended up marrying his man/childhood friend (sorry rin) so yeah.. he settled for my son... who looks like Sousuke but 1 gen younger (I'm still a bit disturbed by that actually.. Rin even helped babysit him once I believe....) but yeah they went to a cafe & Rin just said "so you wanna be my bf?" & my son was like "heck yeah" & they got together (idek anymore..) I guess its like Sourin#2 haha...
Afterward we had ice cream cake & watermelon & my DS ran out of battery so I hid behind the sofa & sat near the open window where it was cooler and went on tumblr on my phone lol. People from outside kept driving/walking by and occasionally they would look at me.. I really wanted to stare back and freak them out but then too much effort hahah. I basically hung out there like a loner for 1/4 of the night.

Yeppp it's official. My life is completely boring.

Day 34 & 35

Went out to watch HTTYD2 with my friends at the movies yesterday!!! Came there early with my parents cuz my sibs were at granny's for the day & bought a shirt at target. Unfortunately our 1:40 movie was sold out b/c apparently a horde of summer camp kids came in at last second before us... Ah well.. wouldn't wanna sit in a theatre full of obnoxious kids anyway... =.=" Got tickets for a showing at 4:20 (i LOL everytime) and basically spent 3 hours or so roaming the mall. I bought poutine & ice cream & bubble tea to sneak into the theatre (b/c im a rebel) & we bumped into my parents a few times while walking... ended up buying nothing besides food (as expected) & feet got really sore afterwards. THE MOVIE WAS GREAT BTW (not gonna spoil for ppl who haven't watched yet but it is really really sad at some parts.. very unexpected) & APPARENTLY the third movie will be about why dragons are extinct ._. my body is not ready....

Today I didn't do much b/c of yesterday's trek around the mall and all (I really wanna go hiking around the golf course but then... hiking = effort & exertion.. sighs) Stayed at home the whole day... watched the first ep of Glasslip & idk if I'm just bein an ass but it seems like almost all shoujo protags are the same.... SUPER optimistic with high pitched voices & involved in some sort of love triangle by the end of the first ep. Yeah, maybe i'm just being a prick. Didn't watch second ep b/c the website i was watching on lost the video or something?? so I didn't bother.. Doodled a bit on my tablet & I discovered that drawing with a ball point pen (or at least the one I used) is a really bad idea and I probably shouldn't try it again ever. The results were horrendous I stg how do some people do it.... Yeah, just sat on my ass the whole day... nothing new really... played some TL,..

Hopefully the next few days will be more exciting (if I'm willing to make the effort, that is...)

Day 33

Didn't do much either today, but at least some stuff actually happened lol. Friends came over to watch the new episode of FreeES (which I of course woke up early to watch ahead of time) I seriously have no self control... like absolutely none...(which is why I ended up eating 4 bowls of chips today but that's a different story) The new ep was soooo heartbreaking ;_; like I feel you Nagisa, i feel u... the makoharu was also strong today heh. Marathoned the entire FreeES series so far with my friend who got back from China & watching all the episodes in order, I realize that each episode's kinda, idk, random I guess? Like you could switch the order a bit and it wouldn't really make a difference?? idk maybe it's just me but it seems like each ep is an different story... NOT THAT IM COMPLAINING IM COOL WITH THAT THOUGH. I'm cool with anything free heheh.
Also introduced them to Gekkan Shoujo Nozaki-kun after one of them left & 2 of them were literally gasping for air when we watched the 4th ep. the beginning eps were kinda slow & not as comedic b/c of character introductions and whatnot but once the actual thing started it was hilarious as hell. Mikorin's still my fav followed by Kashima/Seo idk which one I like better haha.

Then another friend left & we ended up watching Tokyo Ghoul somehow (I was actually pretty intrigued from all the hype on Tumblr but didn't really wanna watch it b/c of the gore) The first ep was TERRIFYING. Like WHOA... I have no words... not even 5 min into the show & a dead body hits the screen like no.... please don't... But once the actual plot ensued it was pretty interesting but also pretty grotesque too ngl I kinda don't wanna continue it but a part of me is so mesmerized by it idk why. WHY. Literally after ep 1 I was praying that the protag's friend wouldn't get eaten like no you can't eat him they were childhood friends and all... like a second makoharu... why would you do that.... But I think he's fine b/c the friend showed up multiple times in the opening so yeahh they wouldn't just kill him off right?? hahahahaha...

Yeah I'm impatient and waiting for next week's makoharu ep. So whatttt don't judge me... 

Day 32

Guess what I did today?? Nothing. Literally nothing. Besides sitting at my computer all day and getting up either to make food or shower I did nothing. At least today's post will be shorter though ^_^ Slept in later till like 11 today and played TL for a bit this morning. My mii became bffs with Momo's LOL I saw it coming anyways... we'd probably be the super annoying duo in real life if he was real though haha... ha...-sobs quietly in the distance- if only..... 

Downloaded a bit of music & my mom's Just Dance Xbox game came through the mail today. Watching her try to play was very amusing huhu. Guess that's about it for today.. pretty boring i guess. Ah well.. I'm pretty psyched for the new ep tmrw though!!! *v* hehehehe & my friends are coming over too. My friend just came back from china without watching ANY of the eps.. i'm still wondering how.... & we're gonna marathon all 5 EPISODES!! we're pretty lame i know

Day 26 - 31

Welp. This is it. I didn't bother posting for 6 days due to being stuck in a crappy mood for a couple days. I'll try my best to remember what I did for the past almost-week...

26 - Woke up at 2am with a really bad feeling in my stomach & threw up in the toilet. It wasn't anything I ate so I think it was a stomach flu/virus of some sort. Pretty much repeated what happened at 2am throughout the day... had to miss my interview which was my ticket to finally getting a job this summer but nooope fate just doesn't favour me, does it.... pretty much was left in a crappy mood for the next couple days since I basically lost a job opportunity (sighs.. oh well.. i guess i'd say i'm used to disappointment by now). HOWEVER!! that did not stop me from watching free!ES ep 4!!! There was a lot of Sourin angst & whatnot (after what happened Sousuke still has the 5-year promise left to use on Rin heheheee) the bento part though (mako & haru in perfect harmony..). Sourin did the Makoharu eye sparkly thing to each other !!!(I guess we know what pairings KyoAni favours)

27 - Felt a bit better by 10am so we went to my grandma's house. Sis went to watch HTTYD2 with her friends (lucky) while I recovered in granny's sanctuary lol. Drew on my tablet a bit, watched Sagwa on TV (THEY STILL AIR ITTT!!) and Arthur as well. I swear, DW is such a lil shit -exactly like me lul- "oh, arthur, i'd do anything for you!! for money.." BESTTT.  I cheered up quite a bit from just chilling and listening to my music for a couple of hours. Mom made me study for my driver's. Put of getting my L for nearly 2 years LOL i'm not exactly proud but hey.. not like I'd have the nerve to drive on the road anytime soon anyways.. MY BODY IS NOT YET READY ;_; actually read over the driver's manual & such.. took the online test a few more times till I got 96 or 100 every time (the ICBC test is seriously so troll though... like every time I retake it a new question pops up & screws over my perfect score...). Napped a lil, ATE DUMPLINGS W/ cho (idk what you call it in eng... it's like vinegar & soy sauce mixed?? iDK) and some fruit & mango cake (so niceee grannyyyy ;_;) went home & moped a bit after... still was pretty pissed about the interview...

28 - Mom took me out to get my L at lansdowne. Waiting in line took really long.. like 30 min??? they took a bazillion mugshots of me too.. AND I LOOKED LIKE ABSOLUTE CRAP IM NOT EVEN JOKING... whyyyyy.. at the end they were like, "do you like your picture?" and I just said yes even though it looked like utter shit fml. Passed my L test (got the very first 2 wrong & then remebered that the SKIP BUTTON EXISTED wow what a lifesaver) and became broke a little for paying for the L & for the test fee... but then my mom paid me back & we bought ice cream & bbt (I got bubblegum & these boys were laughing at me but hey I have ice cream & they don't so who's the real winner here) went to Target & bought some new shoes/sandals (the customers seriously trashed the shoe isle like wow were these ppl raised in the jungle??) and some underwear heehe. Listened to jap ver. of under the sea & went home feeling pretty happy ~~

29 - I don't know what I did this day but uhhh oh I rmb I went out to the backyard to watch my lil bro & blew some bubbles yeahh... cool stuff. That's pretty much all I did that day i believe... yeah. kinda sad..

30 - Went out with friends for my friend's birthday!! Took the wrong bus by accident and went in like the opposite direction... delayed by like 30 min & made my friends wait... sorry.... but at least i saw a cute boy on the bus??? Tried signing the card on the skytrain & failed.... met up at pacific center & walked to the restaurant!! Almost none of the food we ordered was spicy actually.. which surprised me since it's a Thai restaurant. Uhh to sum up my dining experience... PINEAPPLE RICE!! Currryy!!  clams??? coconut rice (i believe??) PAD THAIII. yeah idk it was good though!! we also had fried banana for dessert (which I shaped into a dick& balls lol very mature) and had a candle put on. The restaurant staff also sang happy birthday to her which was nice. We left to visit the beach (walked a ton, sweated a ton) ended up sitting on the grass in a shady area (like literal tree shade not like.. in an alley..) Thenn we walked back to the station & stopped at a gelato shop where they offered free samples before you order!! (which they'd better cuz the ice cream was like $5/scoop...) got green tea -my default- and salted caramel!! Went to bus back at 6-7 ish since my phone died and feet were sore... Relaxed back at home.. started playing TL again (neglected it for a few days)

31 - We are now in the present!!! Pretty chill day.. had bacon eggs & fruit for lunch (hella yum) and helped my lil bro do his ABC's & stuff.. Went shopping in the late afternoon for groceries & dinner. Dressed in hobo attire again (leveled up with socks& sandals combo!!) and yet we were tailed by a group of teenage guys (do you have no standards???) ended up buying chinese food instead of sushi since the sushi place was closed.. more pimples to come.. I can feel it.... This brings us to the actual present where I'm listening to anime openings (I AM ADDICTED TO LOVE HIME THEME SONG FROM YOWAPEDA it's not even a real anime though i am ashamed of myself..) Yeah gonna sleep now.. FREE!!! idk had to say it.....

Day 24 & 25

Went out yesterdayyy!!!! I actually really didn't wanna go since I hadn't showered =_=" & for some odd reason whenever I choose to leave the house looking like crap I see 10x more people from school than I do on usual days... idk why.. maybe this is all a conspiracy......  yeah so then I had to take a shower beforehand to save myself from any possible humiliation.. went to buy groceries and actually saw a bunch of people I knew despite being not crappily dressed (weird). Wore my new shoes out for the first time and yehhh they are hella comfortable~ it's literally like walking on cushions hehe I love them ^_^ Bought starbucks using the coupons I got in the mail for free (free things!! and also free! things.. if you know what i mean lol) Mine was sour while my sisters tasted like pure sugar... when faced with two choices I always manage to choose the wrong one. why oh why. Came home and made MORE JELLO!!! It's all peach cuz peach is hella awesome ^^ it's a bit watery.. not as solid as before and yeah.. seems that every batch is different, despite me doing the exact same things every time (okay maybe i wing the water levels sometimes but hey it shouldn't make that big of a difference, right??) Helped my lil bro colour some pigs & houses for his project with my other sibs (3 lil pigs story?) pretty fun haha. Did some squats -anna voice- for the first tiiime in foreveerrrr!!~~ legs felt tired after like 20.. like seriously. am i that out of shape? Had chinese food for dinner and it was AWESOME! Pretty awesome day in general though, I must admit! I was pretty productive I guess LOL

Today was a normal stay-at-home day; played TL in the morning, helped my lil bro do some ABC's, usual stuff. Ate 3 whole jellos today. I feel like I'm gonna get diabetes soon...
Decided to start freaking out about my job interview the day right before. Asked a friend for advice & apparently it isn't as bad as I presumed it would be..but idk.. still gonna prepare for the worst...
Had bowl noodle for lunch and raided the free! tag from a year ago. Good times... I really miss the old days when we were still freaking out over the CPR scene and the canoness of reigisa (it's actually hard to see rei topping though.. nagisa's the ultimate thug seme lol) Too lazy to draw anything.. Suggested that we all go fishing (a lot of tsuritama emotion overflowed today ok) only to have my idea shot down. Apparently I need a license since I'm over 16... buut I could always fake my age.. like I always do... unless they ask for ID....
Eh, probably won't catch that much fish anyway.....
But I legitimately miss that anime though, even though I powerhoused through it in 6 hours straight... it was so cute (even though I forgot most of it)

New episode of free airs tmrw!!  & then my interview too... urhghgh wish me luck i guess.... i'll probably need it.. FINAL BOSS STAGE before I get hired dun dun duuuunnnn.

Day 23

I DID NOTHING!! NOTHING AT ALL!!! Well I suppose I did some things today but overall, not much happened. 2 new episodes came out!! for haikyuu and gekkan shoujo nozaki-kun (that took a long time to write... just gonna call it GSNK from now on...=.=) The dude from GNSK called Mikoshiba is beautiful.. and they call him Mikorin too (my shipper heart..) I really like the new girl as well. She's kinda like a Tamaki and Haruhi lovechild LOL. For the whole day I basically was glued to my electronics haha... Played more TL in the morning & drew some genderbent haikyuu trashbabies <3 but then I only finished Tsuki and Kuro cuz I got bored.... sorry Toru.... I have come to realize that Kuro's facial expressions are nearly identical to those of Croagunk's.....huh....strange..

Helped my mom & sis make misc. things for lunch ex. pancakes, creamed corn soup with egg(??), corndogs and chicken strips... weird stuff but hey I'm not complaining.

ATE THE LAST OF MY JELLO. MY HEART IS BREAKING. I kinda wanna make more (the peach is soooo goodd omgomggg) but then -haru voice- TOO MUCH EFFORT.. gonna brainwash my lil sis into making some hohoho..

Huh... now 'tis my bedtime. I still don't understand why we have to go to sleep so early.. especially during summer vacation... I DON'T UNDERSTAND MOM I REALLY DON'T

-rapunzel voice- WHEN WILL MY LIFE BEGINNNNN~

Day 21 & 22

Actually went out yesterday!! Went to Lansdowne with my family to pick up the xbox one that my bro ordered and checked out a bunch of clothing stores with my mom & sis. Ended up buying nothing but had this huge urge to buy ice cream though.. kinda glad I didn't give in to my cravings. Went out for lunch with the fam at Earls (haven't been there in so long & everything's changed x.x even the menu..) and sat outside to eat. Ordered a prawn & pesto pizza, some bread thing, CALAMARI, and some other random stuff. It was really good but pretty pricey as expected. Lil bro puked a lil in the car ew.. Came home & didn't do much.. read some BL manga.. played TL some more..drew a little.. the usual stuff. Was pretty cold last night so didn't need the AC turned on for once..

Today I did nothing!!! Mom was in a bad mood in the morning so I tried to distract her from the anger by suggesting we watch one of her fav movies (How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days) It was pretty funny. I see why she likes it so much. Played more TL, read more BL (yooo that rhymed) and drew a bit. Tried to change up my art style and failed miserably.. idek what I'm doing anymore..
Wore my new shoes around the house to get a feel of them & they're reallllyyy comfy yo like I expected them to irritate my skin after a few hours but nooope not this pair (well, they'd better not, considering they cost $80..) Well, I did sit most of the day so I bet that contributed to its comfortability.... ._."
Interview in 4 days & I haven't prepared even a bit... Haven't studied for my driver's either, even with absolutely nothing to do.. LOL I basically specialize in procrastination..

Hopefully the next few days will be more productive.. sighhhhs..

Day 19 & 20

Didn't post yesterday because I was feeling pretty crappy at night but then cheered up quite a bit today hehe. Friends came over to watch Ep 3 of FreeES & they brought a whole lot of food with them.. maybe too much.. ate literally half a cake that day urgh. They suspected me of watching the episode beforehand & I was like WHAT pfft nooo but I LIED HAHA. I ACTUALLY DID WATCH IT. AT LIKE 9 AM I WOKE UP EARLY TO WATCH IT BECAUSE I AM A LOSER. I even opened my laptop to install adblock while they were here & one of my friends came over & was like "why is ep3 open on your laptop.. did you watch it beforehand" and I told her I just opened the tab to check if adblock worked (smooth af..) She seemed to buy it but the others probably saw through me there... 

Anyhoo, episode 3 was the best.. literally.. (The excitement from yesterday has died down so I don't look that enthusiastic but I am) I like how tumblr expected it to be a really deep, emotional & dramatic episode with Rei actually planning to leave the team but it turned out to be a hoax.. should've seen that coming... KyoAni.. what a troll.. There also seems to be more english rap/RnB songs for the background music for ES... wonder if they'll add that to the Free OST album at the end (I actually hope they do b/c some of those songs are pretty catchy)

Ended up watching Korean dramas afterwards.. Fated to Love You, I think? The plot was the weirdest thing though.. some girl goes on a vacation with her crush & so does this CEO of a soap company to propose to his gf (idek man) and somehow the girl & the CEO basically get dumped by their s/o's and end up accidentally doing the do with each other, then the girl gets pregnant. Apparently they're forced to marry and refuse to abort?? even though they hate each other?? & then the CEO wants to surprise his gf with the baby when she returns from the US????? IDEK MAN.. this is some weird ass shit going on....I honestly believe whoever brainstormed the plot was high at the time....

Anyways, today was pretty normal.. woke up, played TL, then my mom & dad dropped us off at my grandma's house while they went shopping. Spent the entire morning watching kid cartoons (i miss the classics ;_; there was this submarine show where the characters were freaky af & yeah, at least they showed one episode of Sagwa.. gotta love the 90's shows man) Drew a little, kinda became unmotivated to do anything, took a nap, more cartoons & TL.... then we went home haha. My grandma cooks the best food though so that made the day a lot better. 

Oh!!! Also!! I got requested for a second job interview!!! I honestly thought I wouldn't get picked cuz of what happened at the group interview before & literally was on the verge of abandoning all hope ;_;

I also find that I doubt myself a lot. Like, for every single thing I do... For my university application my mom & teachers already said my grades average was high af & that I had nothing to worry about but still I was stressing like mad that I wouldn't get in >_< I was even using my 11:11 wishes & stuff hoping desperately to get in ahah.. I'm so lame.... Even for tests & projects I find that I'm always underestimating myself and thinking that I'm not good enough. I don't know if it's normal or if it's an inferiority complex or something about self-esteem (I think I've faked confidence enough that it became real already though..) but yeah... I DON'T KNOW.

I JUST WANT THE NEW EPISODE TO COME OUT ALREADY.

It hasn't even been two days... 

Day 18

Stayed home the entire day once again. Couldn't sleep last night... I think I got at most 5 hours? It was sooo hot in the house & sleeping on the top bunk doesn't exactly help either...
Yooo I also had this really weird dream where in FreeES they had a musical episode or something where the guys were trying to advertise their club and ended up with strange recruiting methods (idek..) and they were all singing & stuff LOL it was so funny.. if only if it were to actually happen though, that would make my day hahah
Played more TL in the morning, dad wasn't home for the whole day & mom was driving lil bro to some appointment... stayed home alone quite a bit.. Ate more jello LOL
Sketched a bit of my OC's in my sketchbook, more laptop, yeah that's basically it... Kinda sad cuz the only reason I decided to make these journal thingies was to motivate myself to actually do things this summer but nooope I guess not.

'Tis official. I have no life.

Day 16 & 17

Sooo I guess it looks like I'll be staying home almost 95% of the summer break, huh...
Stayed home yesterday & most of today, doodled some FreeES charactersin my sketchbook (I really missed drawing on real paper ;_;) Momo's profile was pretty hard to draw from memory... prob cuz he only showed up for like 5 minutes.. but yeah had to look for reference (too much effort..) Played more TL throughout the day.. oh & yesterday Kuro finally left the nest and Mako&Haru announced they were gonna have a baby!! The baby came today and I named her Mizu (literally water LOL).

Today I ate more jello, doodled a lil more, downloaded a song, & then went shopping with my mom and sis before dinner (to buy more gelatin for the jello and whatnot). Purposely dressed like literal crap for shits & giggles cuz why not and I though I wouldn't see anyone I knew at the store (boy was I wrong..). Ended up seeing my friend who saw me in boxers and crocs LOL & I was trying to avoid her & another hot guy I saw in the store but failed cuz I was wheeling a heavy cart and kept bumping into my friend & her mom (like 7 times) in the store =_=" Afterwards, I used a coupon at booster juice (still pretty pricey though imo) & bought 2 matcha monsoons (soo good) and chinese food from the takeout place.
Doodled some NagiRei and some SouMako in my sketchbook after dinner (beginning to board all the ships now) and yeah..
Hopefully it won't be too hot out tomorrow...