Day 19 & 20

Didn't post yesterday because I was feeling pretty crappy at night but then cheered up quite a bit today hehe. Friends came over to watch Ep 3 of FreeES & they brought a whole lot of food with them.. maybe too much.. ate literally half a cake that day urgh. They suspected me of watching the episode beforehand & I was like WHAT pfft nooo but I LIED HAHA. I ACTUALLY DID WATCH IT. AT LIKE 9 AM I WOKE UP EARLY TO WATCH IT BECAUSE I AM A LOSER. I even opened my laptop to install adblock while they were here & one of my friends came over & was like "why is ep3 open on your laptop.. did you watch it beforehand" and I told her I just opened the tab to check if adblock worked (smooth af..) She seemed to buy it but the others probably saw through me there... 

Anyhoo, episode 3 was the best.. literally.. (The excitement from yesterday has died down so I don't look that enthusiastic but I am) I like how tumblr expected it to be a really deep, emotional & dramatic episode with Rei actually planning to leave the team but it turned out to be a hoax.. should've seen that coming... KyoAni.. what a troll.. There also seems to be more english rap/RnB songs for the background music for ES... wonder if they'll add that to the Free OST album at the end (I actually hope they do b/c some of those songs are pretty catchy)

Ended up watching Korean dramas afterwards.. Fated to Love You, I think? The plot was the weirdest thing though.. some girl goes on a vacation with her crush & so does this CEO of a soap company to propose to his gf (idek man) and somehow the girl & the CEO basically get dumped by their s/o's and end up accidentally doing the do with each other, then the girl gets pregnant. Apparently they're forced to marry and refuse to abort?? even though they hate each other?? & then the CEO wants to surprise his gf with the baby when she returns from the US????? IDEK MAN.. this is some weird ass shit going on....I honestly believe whoever brainstormed the plot was high at the time....

Anyways, today was pretty normal.. woke up, played TL, then my mom & dad dropped us off at my grandma's house while they went shopping. Spent the entire morning watching kid cartoons (i miss the classics ;_; there was this submarine show where the characters were freaky af & yeah, at least they showed one episode of Sagwa.. gotta love the 90's shows man) Drew a little, kinda became unmotivated to do anything, took a nap, more cartoons & TL.... then we went home haha. My grandma cooks the best food though so that made the day a lot better. 

Oh!!! Also!! I got requested for a second job interview!!! I honestly thought I wouldn't get picked cuz of what happened at the group interview before & literally was on the verge of abandoning all hope ;_;

I also find that I doubt myself a lot. Like, for every single thing I do... For my university application my mom & teachers already said my grades average was high af & that I had nothing to worry about but still I was stressing like mad that I wouldn't get in >_< I was even using my 11:11 wishes & stuff hoping desperately to get in ahah.. I'm so lame.... Even for tests & projects I find that I'm always underestimating myself and thinking that I'm not good enough. I don't know if it's normal or if it's an inferiority complex or something about self-esteem (I think I've faked confidence enough that it became real already though..) but yeah... I DON'T KNOW.

I JUST WANT THE NEW EPISODE TO COME OUT ALREADY.

It hasn't even been two days...